(From “As Good as Gold”)
When I add two and two I know quite well, I do,
The answer should be something rather more;
And if I really think and make the numbers link
I get the answer pat, it comes to four !
But bills and bills and bills are among the worst of ills,
For they consist of shillings, pounds and pence,
And I was never able to assimilate that table,
For never did it seem to make much sense.
Oh, bills,bills, bills, bills,
They swamp and choke me, do bills.
They rise in a hummock,
They upset my stomach,
I’m bilious with so many bills !
When I add three and three I know what that will be,
The answer never gets me in a fix;
For when I make the count and up the numbers mount,
I get the answer pat, it comes to six !
But I cannot rejoice in statement or invoice,
For £ s. d. has simply got me beat.
I really think at school they should teach the simple rule
To turn an unpaid bill to a receipt.
Weekly Times 7.6.63